[2:56:19 PM] Celestia: You okay?
[2:58:16 PM] Frostbite: Yeah, actually, I\'m fine. I feel touched, actually.
[2:58:25 PM] Celestia: what happened?
[3:04:44 PM] Frostbite: When I woke up this morning, I decided to listen to some music. Primarily Skillet, Red, and stuff from Seether\'s new album. The music started resonating in my heart and caressed my spirit, but it was actually kind of painful on my chest. I started to cry when I really listened to them. I never cried so hard in my life. And I just started saying, "Jessica, I love you, I love you," constantly without pause.

The next thing I did was go out to my porch, get down on my knees, tears still falling from my face like a waterfall, raised my hands to the sky and prayed to God. I begged of Him to forgive me for my sins and for Him to use me to love her and bless her in ways she could never comprehend. I balled up on the floor and cried until my tear ducts sucked themselves dry.

In fact, I\'m still a little sniffly from that experience.
[3:05:38 PM] Celestia: Oh sweety..... -hugs- That\'s just... beautiful...
[3:08:15 PM] Frostbite: Yeah, thanks. So it\'s not just a normal love I\'m feeling. I really am starting to feel like God put her love in my life to keep me sustaining until I finally realize that my journey is long one. I needed to realize who I was feeling in my heart and soul, and that I truly couldn\'t live without her.
[3:09:16 PM] Frostbite: It\'s more than just despairity or obsession with love. It\'s something I want to come true with every fiber of my being.
[3:09:32 PM] Celestia: brb electrician has to flip the circuits
[3:09:42 PM] Frostbite: All right.
[3:10:49 PM] Celestia: well I\'ll just keep talking till it shuts off
[3:11:58 PM] Celestia: Back to your love... If there\'s any way I can help... I\'ll help. Even if its as little as talking to you and letting you vent to/at me or something big, as big as something I don\'t even know yet.
[3:12:17 PM] Celestia: Just picturing you in my head... it makes me teary-eyed to know that this love is so true..
[3:12:34 PM] Celestia: I\'m proud of you Charles. I really iwish the best fro you
[3:13:52 PM] Frostbite: Yeah, I think I\'m starting to see what\'s happening in my life. I\'m working out more and getting more active, I\'m talking to more people (not a lot more, but still somewhat talkative), I\'m becoming more reliant on myself in asking for help, and I\'m being more commanding in telling my sickly father to do things, like I\'m the parent.
[3:14:16 PM] Frostbite: It was a mystery to me then, but it\'s slowly becoming clearer why I\'m trying so hard.
[3:21:03 PM] Celestia: So you can be ready fro Jess
[3:22:19 PM] Frostbite: Precisely. And I\'m not just serching for Jess. I also realized I\'m searching for my faith. That will also help me in my journey.
[3:22:43 PM] Frostbite: It\'s been affecting me in such a way since I\'ve been going to church.
[3:22:50 PM] Celestia: Oh my
[3:26:02 PM] Celestia: But still. I\'m glad you\'re trying to get your life together.
[3:26:19 PM] Celestia: It\'s great you\'re going so hard to improve yourself.